The Life of a professional Caribbean Woman

Saturday is the day to catch up with cleaning after working all week. I usually enjoy cleaning- it is a mindless escape. The vigorous scrubbing is therapeutic, as is the pay off of the squeak of clean, the slight smell of vinegar and bleach (never used together) and the brief time that the house actually looks like they do in movies and magazines. For an hour or two I can walk around without fear of stepping on a small sharp object, or that someone will stop by unexpectedly. Of course on this day I also have to face.... the hall bathroom. In a house with three boys under ten on the weekends, I am so thankful for the small ensuite bathroom in our bedroom that saves my sanity. That hall bathroom, with the slight sticky sensation of your feet on the floor, the yellow droplets on the toilet seat and beyond, and the stench of stale pee floating up from that fluffy cream coloured toilet mat thingy that my husband insists on replacing every time I remove. The sink is multi-coloured from the...

So I survived a week in Orlando Florida complete with 4 full days (and I mean an average of 12 hour days) at the four Disney Parks... (We had 5 day tickets but even 4 days was really pushing it), 2 approx 4 hr flights to and from Miami, two four hour drives (to and from Orlando), marathon shopping at Walmart and JCPenny sales (more on the trip later). Now I need a real vacation. One of the major lessons... well I don't know if it is a lesson or an observation, but one major thing I learned about my marriage is how hard it is, still for us to trust each other on simple matters. I mean, we both know intellectually that the other person is a reasonable intelligent individual capable of making good decisions and correcting the situation if mistakes are made... however we just can't seem to completely let our own fate be determined by someone else's decision... no matter how inconsequential that decision may be. If we agree on the same course of action then it is easy... but i...

So we are finally taking that right of passage. The family Disneyworld Trip. Of course because every Caribbean country has direct flights to Miami. The usual route is to fly to Miami (or Fort Lauderdale), take the long drive to Orlando... (the one during which you get lost, you fight with your spouse and the kids have a meltdown) and find relatively inexpensive (okay cheap) accommodations. (These days accommodations are confounded by timeshare presentations etc. and I hear that Caribbean Airlines is offering direct flights to Orlando from Trinidad starting this summer (2011).) And then .......... finally... Disney! Complete with long lines, child meltdowns and food upchucks; Disney characters, fantastic experiences and loads of fun. I remember taking the trip when I was twelve. Things that stand out in my mind... boiling sausages with the hotel (?motel) kettle and the warning signs at Space Mountain... "If you have a heart condition, leave now,..... Warning this is your last cha...

 So I was Just Thinking: Why is it that we black Caribbean women have so many issues with hair? At this time I think I should describe myself. I am a Caribbean 'darkie' at about 5'4" and 125lbs. I currently have my hair in a natural low cut style- It is convenient and facilitates my current lifestyle allowing me to join the kids on the beach, exercise (okay... if I was really exercising) and easily wash and go. That does not mean I have some philosophical view about "being natural".  My hair has been relaxed, texturized, braided, twisted and locked (as in dreadlocks); black, cinnamon brown and with bleached highlights; super short, pretty long and every length in between; and always a reflection of me.What I have noticed with each hairstyle is the different assumptions people make about me and my beliefs based on my hairstyle. Here are some examples:- If your hair is relaxed/ straightened or you have a weave, it means that you are ashamed of your African ...

This post is a quote from Elizabeth Gilbert (you know- the author of " Eat Pray Love ") from her new book " Committed ".  The book follows the author on a research journey, through history and throughout the globe, to learn all she can about marriage as she is unexpectedly forced to (reluctantly) consider marriage for the second time when her boyfriend is stopped by US immigration and no longer allowed to enter the US. In the Caribbean there is a lack of appreciation and sometimes downright discrimination of or distaste for women who are unable to, or choose not to, have children. You are either 'not woman enough' or you are 'selfish'. I love Elizabeth's take on it... so the rest of this post is a direct quote. " ... the number of women throughout history who never become mothers is so high (so consistently high) that I now suspect that a certain degree of childlessness is an evolutionary adaption of the human race. Maybe it's not o...

It's the long weekend for Easter. It begins tomorrow; Good Friday. Today all over the Caribbean, productivity has reached the all time low of the steady decline during this short week. Today it is difficult to accomplish anything because most staff, where-ever you need to conduct business, have taken a compensatory day, sick leave or just did not make it to work today. All establishments plan to close an hour or two early... but may shut their doors even before planned. Business will be playing catch up for a couple weeks to come. For people just returning home from the more fast paced outcome driven psyche of the 'developed world', this can be frustrating.... because without experience, there are so many things that can go wrong for you if you don't understand the magnitude of the "Shut Down" during the major religious holidays of Easter and Christmas. But with time comes the wisdom of how special it is and how important it is that this is how we operate. ...

When I was a child one of my favourite songs we used to sing in school was "I am a promise, I am a possibility, I am a promise with a capital P...". Today some of my favourite songs include "I Hope you Dance", and "Unwritten". I guess you see a theme here. I am a believer in potential; my potential, my child's potential, your potential. This characteristic of mine is both a strength and a weakness. It is the main reason I got involved in the wrong type of relationships.. I fell in love with the potential instead of who the person was at that moment. I learned the hard way that people have to see their own potential to reach it. I cannot make them get there. So I better be in love with who they are now... even if I see potential, so that if that potential remains unrealized, I can continue to love and respect them. As usual, I digress. Another problem with seeing my own possibilities is that I can become overwhelmed with choices. There are so many p...

It is on a lazy Caribbean Sunday morning like this one (I'm sorry, I am not one of those feverishly cooking Sunday food... although I happily show up at relatives around noon), I walk around and listen to the sights and sounds of my home and remember all the reasons I have to be thankful. My husband on our bed snoring away with the baby in the crook of his arm. My son and step son in their pajamas getting in an early game of "Lego Batman"... somehow those two words make no sense together to me. The quiet of the road as cars have already passed on their way to church, the major destination for today. It may not seem like much, but it is so much to me, and today, like every day I thank God for all my blessings.

We all have those weeks... you know those weeks! The one's where your husband has to travel for work, the babysitter cancels on you, your other child is sick with diarrhea and should stay home from school and you have a deadline at work that you must complete.... That is when I feel like a chicken with no head. You know, when I used to visit my grandmother up in the country, and she had to kill a chicken- cutting of its head and covering it up with some receptacle until the life drained from it. But occasionally, that chicken would get loose and just run around in a disorganized unplanned fashion, without its head and eyes to guide it... quite a gruesome sight now that I think about it. Well that has been me this week... so what do you do, give your child some Imodium and send them to school- hastily book a very poorly researched babysitter, scream at you husband on the phone during the one time he has a chance to call, buckle down and do your best to meet your deadline while s...

I have always prided myself on the ability to make decisions. Not necessarily good decisions but I learned early on, to make a decision and to commit. I remember the day I decided I was going to learn how to swim. I was six years old and standing at the edge of our swimming pool at home (yes I was blessed enough at that age to live in quite an enormous house with a swimming pool, and although my childhood varied somewhat economically I have been always been truly blessed... but I digress). I looked at the deep end, and prior to that time I was afraid of the deep, of deep water. Suddenly I knew I could swim, or at least stay afloat, doggy paddle. I just thought- so many people can do this how hard can it be. And if I can't swim, I can walk along the bottom and make it to the shallow. I jumped in and I swam to the other side. I am sure it was not glamorous but I was not afraid and never have been since of the deep. The result is that I dive in head first and wholeheartedly to my be...

When exactly did I turn into my mother? I remember distinctly thinking that the phrase "yuh want something to cry fuh?" was so ridiculous as a child. Obviously I was crying for something already... I didn't need anything else. Yet the words have rolled so easily off my tongue during my children's uncontrollable outbursts, for no good reason... the kind that is simply unbecoming of a child of the Caribbean and must be put to a swift stop. I digress. I really came to tell you a short true story that happened today and so reminded me of my age. My son (age 10yrs) had his friend over today (March 2011).. and she was asking me if I knew of a specific character (which I did not..). As she explained she said "you know, he was from a long long time ago, waaaay back when, like maybe 2006." Needless to say I immediately began a bout of uncontrollable laughter as the two children watched me in bewilderment. I guess 5 years ago was half their lifetime ago. And I guess...

 As I named this blog it suddenly dawned on me, the ambiguity of the term "Professional Caribbean Woman". Certainly I am referring to our ever increasing numbers of highly educated, ambitious professional women. However, in writing the the phrase I also realize that being a Caribbean Woman is a profession in and of itself. The science and art of balancing that ever increasing complexity of being a Caribbean Woman. Our role as boss, mentor, mediator, wife, mother, auntie, friend, sister, lover, nurse, counsellor, teacher, guide,  manager, accountant etc. demand a set of competencies and skills that suggest that by our very nature as Caribbean Women we are professionals. As a professional Caribbean Woman I intend to give you a glimpse of my life through this blog, by recounting moments at different stages of my life. To date, I have been both a high level professional and a stay at home mother, a business owner and a public servant, a single parent and a married woma...